I didn’t realize it until today, and it didn’t happen intentionally, but I’m kind of a badass. As I write this, the Palo Alto police are running my fingerprints in connection with a domestic disturbance. What am I doing? Boarding flight after flight fleeing California for the East Coast. Catch me if you can, coppers!

No Good Deed…

I scheduled a flight really early this morning. I drove straight from the club in San Francisco, grabbed my suitcase, and walked outside to wait for the shuttle. I had some time so I walked over to a friend’s apartment to make sure everything looked to be in order. She was out of town…or so I thought. So I walk around, jiggle the door handles, make sure everything’s locked and nothing looks suspicious. Turns out, the only thing that looked suspicious was a guy walking around jiggling door handles at 4am! The truly unfortunate part is that they were not out of town. They were sitting in bed, mortified after being awoken by a burglar.

iMessage Could Get You Arrested

This post should probably be titled “Don’t use iMessage. It can get you arrested.” You see, my iMessage is all kinds of screwed up. I hate it. I send a message from my laptop that never appears on my phone. Sometimes people send me a message and it gets marked as read on my phone, but never shows in the OSX app either. All kinds of stuff goes wrong.

After being terrorized by a break in attempt, she texts a few friends. Makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is how my phone handled the message. The message came in as a text message because some people on the thread don’t have iPhones. I respond within minutes saying it was me, not a burglar. It sends as an iMessage, but only to her. Not as a text message, and not to the group. Since no one else on the group message saw my reply, it sounded really serious. They’re good friends so they called the police.

The cops dusted for fingerprints. Mine are at the “scene of the crime” because I was the one unknowingly terrorizing my best friend. The cops called back afterwards, and they were told it’s a misunderstanding. They can’t take the chance of the victim having been coerced so they’re running the fingerprints through the system anyway.

John McAfee would probably recommend I take a vacation about now. Belize maybe.

Another Good Story

I’m not really worried about it. It’s stuff like this that you tell at dinner a few weeks later and everyone laughs about.

In fact, after rejoining the group message thread, talking about the cops, and joking about all the ways to break out of prison when I get caught; my biggest concern should probably be Homeland Security waiting for me at Dulles. (doh, I just gave away my final destination…or did I?) I’m pretty sure my phone is flagged as suspicious or whatever at this point.

Good stories are worth it. I’ve had so many cool experiences lately, and I never take the time to write them down. Hopefully this one is the starting point for changing that.